In reality it is crazy to think that we are 21 and we embarked on a journey that we will try and stay commited till' "death" that's a lot of years. He sleeps next to me though and I feel it's possible. But when he is awake and in a mood it seems so impossible. I have been in a couple of different relationships before him, but I got to say this is different. Not only emotions but also the situation. Never have I been in love until him I thought I have but he has ereased all past men off my brain he blows them out the water. We go through bumbs on the road and they go away as quick as they come. It's wierd for it to happen like that. I never been in such situations. Don't get me wrong we have our tough times do we ever. They just fade away like to me atleast it seems like the bad really doesn't matter because their is so much good. To get out of bed ten get back in and have him wrap himself around me right now is so beautiful. It is something that I have searched for and feel so many search for that one human that completes you like a perfect puzzle. I guess that's why when I fantasy about other men in the end I don't get the spark I get from him.
We recently came to an agreement and said when one finds another man very attractive we will approche them and have some fun the three toghter. And to be fine w the whole situation I think it's crazy. Just bacuse I think it's an issue that a lot of couples don't speak of and then theirs a wedge. In the end we are humans we have needs and sometimes certain people meet certain needs/fantasy. Theirs nothing really wrong w that. I think amarica made us think that it's just one and one when we as ANIMAL are not build for one and one we are more one and 6,037 LOL well that's a little outrages but you get the point. Im not that big on the whole open relationship nither is my man so we came to a compimise. Were we both are happy and feel comfterble. I think it's pretty hot. You never really sat back and said how hot will be to see my man get fucked? I guess it depends on how secure you are. Which brings me to part two of this but wait until tomorrow ;]
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Till' death.
Back at it again. . .
So after my week vacation I'm back at work. Back in action I guess you could say. Things haven't been the same because of our recent lost. A sad but true story has brought realization to my life. My eyes are more open to different decision making and views in life. I drag my life on by pity and remorse of past events in my life. If i was given my second chance why not take full advantage. Why don't many of us take the full advantage? This past Friday was viva glam Friday just like it is ever week. This week was different we are trying to promote the colors and the cause much more now. So I got dressed in drag and impersonated Lisa Marie Prestly, who is one of the many spokes person for the color. Bri did a great job [ My drag alter ego; www.myspace.com/itsjustaria ]. Me and two other fellow employees paraded around the three counter's in Macy's Herald Square promoting happiness, awareness and most importantly LIFE. That night I went out to have drinks w| a long lost friend and ended up getting wasted. Later i met my boyfriend at his job just to only make a full of myself. Drunk and not in the right of state of mind i looked for coke and for a fight w| someone i love. Thank my angel up above i didn't find the drug and later the fight faded. The day after I come to realize that my life needs to be changed my decisions have to be different if not i will only live the life of those i speak of. From here on out i will try to be more open minded and vocal, less pessimistic and vulgar.
In another note. . .
Today is Stephanies wake. God i wish i had such strength to show my face. As my eyes glaze over and send prayers out to her family and her, I make a decision that i can not show. Only she and God will know why. Other may not understand but to each is on.
So after my week vacation I'm back at work. Back in action I guess you could say. Things haven't been the same because of our recent lost. A sad but true story has brought realization to my life. My eyes are more open to different decision making and views in life. I drag my life on by pity and remorse of past events in my life. If i was given my second chance why not take full advantage. Why don't many of us take the full advantage? This past Friday was viva glam Friday just like it is ever week. This week was different we are trying to promote the colors and the cause much more now. So I got dressed in drag and impersonated Lisa Marie Prestly, who is one of the many spokes person for the color. Bri did a great job [ My drag alter ego; www.myspace.com/itsjustaria ]. Me and two other fellow employees paraded around the three counter's in Macy's Herald Square promoting happiness, awareness and most importantly LIFE. That night I went out to have drinks w| a long lost friend and ended up getting wasted. Later i met my boyfriend at his job just to only make a full of myself. Drunk and not in the right of state of mind i looked for coke and for a fight w| someone i love. Thank my angel up above i didn't find the drug and later the fight faded. The day after I come to realize that my life needs to be changed my decisions have to be different if not i will only live the life of those i speak of. From here on out i will try to be more open minded and vocal, less pessimistic and vulgar.
In another note. . .
Today is Stephanies wake. God i wish i had such strength to show my face. As my eyes glaze over and send prayers out to her family and her, I make a decision that i can not show. Only she and God will know why. Other may not understand but to each is on.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Future Outcomes!
Since a few people have hit me up saying they been interested on hearing more, here I am. I know my last update was months ago but I will be trying on keeping this current. Since the last update things have changed so much in my life. It has been such a change that even my morals may have been affected. I don't clearly know if it was for the good or worse but they have shifted. I do have tons to write about but not thinking is the best to blurb it all out ill keep you guys asking for more. Well since December I have gotten a secound job, found a boyfriend, and created a full blown alter ego. I also have received lots of news the has impacted my life. It changed my way as I know it and nothing will ever be the same.
Shadyness, expensive food, tanning, iPhone, drag clothes, make up, hair cuts these are somethings that have such importance in my life that just shouldn't be as important. In the past week I lost a co-worker. She passed away while on a trip to the Dominican Republic. Only 20 years Stephanie C. passed away. She was full of life a loyal employee and a some one cool to chill with. I didn't much of her nor did I try to get to know her. This showed me that you need to cherish life and try to cultivate friendship sooner then later. This girl had so much going for and it was just taken away. We as humans get so many second third forth chances and do nothing w| it. Making promises and trying to make changes that never take affect. Letting the little things in life to affect you so hard and miss out on such good chances. Why do we do this? Letting yourself become homeless, bankrupt or worse die. Life is all about choices that change the outcome of your life. Me and my boyfriend were walking to go to work at the night club. While walking their a child across the street was playing baseball w| an older man. The ball went to the street and soon after he ran for it totally ignoring his surroundings and forgetting about the car's. Not knowing it could have been the last time he would have been having fun. James Anthony [ The Boyfriend ] later tells me a story about a little girl about 4 years old was playing w| the fire hydrant in the city and the force pulled her out to the middle of the street. Soon after a garbage truck ran her over. This happen when he was about 8 years old, she was so young and passed away so early because a careless mistake. And events likes this always happen around the world decisions that humans make later affect their outcome of life. Going to bed w| the wrong person. Making the wrong business decision or even going down the wrong street.
R.I.P STEPHANY C.
Shadyness, expensive food, tanning, iPhone, drag clothes, make up, hair cuts these are somethings that have such importance in my life that just shouldn't be as important. In the past week I lost a co-worker. She passed away while on a trip to the Dominican Republic. Only 20 years Stephanie C. passed away. She was full of life a loyal employee and a some one cool to chill with. I didn't much of her nor did I try to get to know her. This showed me that you need to cherish life and try to cultivate friendship sooner then later. This girl had so much going for and it was just taken away. We as humans get so many second third forth chances and do nothing w| it. Making promises and trying to make changes that never take affect. Letting the little things in life to affect you so hard and miss out on such good chances. Why do we do this? Letting yourself become homeless, bankrupt or worse die. Life is all about choices that change the outcome of your life. Me and my boyfriend were walking to go to work at the night club. While walking their a child across the street was playing baseball w| an older man. The ball went to the street and soon after he ran for it totally ignoring his surroundings and forgetting about the car's. Not knowing it could have been the last time he would have been having fun. James Anthony [ The Boyfriend ] later tells me a story about a little girl about 4 years old was playing w| the fire hydrant in the city and the force pulled her out to the middle of the street. Soon after a garbage truck ran her over. This happen when he was about 8 years old, she was so young and passed away so early because a careless mistake. And events likes this always happen around the world decisions that humans make later affect their outcome of life. Going to bed w| the wrong person. Making the wrong business decision or even going down the wrong street.
R.I.P STEPHANY C.
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