Sary Gays ::back click:: Spell Check

So it is something that i have dealt w| since a child. I don't know if it was the lack of parental guidance or just my laziness now when I'm a young adult. Since i been a little boy i always had trouble w| spelling and grammar its the weirdest thing because all my English teachers said it i can write a great story but when it came to the spelling i sucked. Its all also a big excuse in my part because I could take the chance out and check my spelling I just don't see the need to especially when it comes to MY thoughts. It hasn't ever frustrated or embarrassed me this issue I guess its because i know many others out their have the same issue.

Its pretty funny also because I just noticed its the A's and E's I'm messing up. Does that mean something? Like psychological or something LOL. "Because everyone made fun of my big apple when young now I resent the letters A & E". OH! A&E maybe its the crappy clothing from American Eagle that I just don't like hahaha I don't know. All i can say is i apologize in advance everyone bare w| me. And I don't mind the criticism I actually encourage it I like the help. . .


Sorry Guys I'll back click more often and watch out for the words.

Internet job hunt

So i been unemployed and collecting for a while now amd i been searching for a job. My boyfriend has found a couple good sites and one of them had a little contest going on. It was calle the worst first day. I entered the contest and wrote a mini paragraph about my worst first day.

" Well my worst first day was actually my fault and it was at Bare Esentials. It was a position for a make up artist i needed a job so i took it and just lied on the application and said ive done make up in weedings. I was only 17 i did not know better. It came down to do the make up i started off with a foundation color to light on the lady. Then i went on to apply a bright blue on the lid w heavy fucia pink cheeks. She then asked for a nice highlighter color. So i went behind the counter and got her a real highlighter. My trainer busted out laughing and diffused the situation befor the client could look. Now i got my experience and became a professional make up artist. "

its so funny i havent thought about that in a while because it wasso log ago. And its crazy to think that, that is how my love for make up started. I just wanted to share that ;]

What does love got to with it?

Tina has sang this line so many times an until a year ago i never knew what she ment. About One week & One year ago i finally met in person my special someone. He has truely and i can say truely become my true love. That if so i was to mark my body w his name i would never regret it because his my true love. When i met him i didnt think it could have become that. Not only was i looking for a one night stand and not ready for a relationship. But we come from two different parts of the world our friends and family our morals and just everything. I fell in love not in the typical pupoy childish way but a more Eve - Love is blind |  kind of way. He has a become a part of my life and i know he always will no matter what happens w us atleast on my part his my soul mate. We finish each others thoughts not sentences thoughts. 

While i was falling in love well we were falling in love we created a very un healthy enviroment. We did not hit w our fist but we did w our words. We also shut out the world. Something i think its very common and easy to happen in a young and new relationship. It got to a point where i stopped seeing my close friends and then even my family. I lost my job and then my apartment and almost everything i worked so hard for. Just because of jelousy and insecurities and also comfort. It got really easy and comfterble in that room. No change no outside world somewhat kind sick safe. Not thing will ever happen to me because nothing ever does happen. I needed to get out if not for me then for us. If i hadnt get out and made a dicision to change my life i think words would have turn to fist. This is so hard to be away from him but i think it will be showing how much we do love each other and also how much we need to change, if not him then atleast thats a "I" for me. I dont know what the future maybe bring for us nor do i care to know because i know either way he will b in my life and scouts honor he will be my last boyfriend if we stay together or not. Thats a whole nother blog stay tuned ;]

"Lets take a jorney into uptowns elite"

So the pas couple of days have been a roller coaster ride I left my boyfreinds house and Im staying w my perants out in long island. That will be a whole nother blog. Well on the night i left of course i hang w my gay mother Raulita [ Raul Lopez: hood by air ] & titi Nina. Me and my mother have a very fucked up relationship from the outside you would think its very verbal, to say the least. Now as you know in previous blogs i have spoken about gay or drag families. Well i will touch lightly on this subject again. 

Growing up most my life an only child in the subburbs of long island i say i grew a big imagination. This has carried into my Young-Adult life. I think it is a big part to my creative processe when i do make up and also drag. Well i always fantasied to not only have a close gay family but as corny as it sounds "cool" one. Now the group that i consider my gay family doesnt run around calling each other cousin sister brother maybe ones or twice son mother father. But i just never really looked and seen that i had all this time what i wanted and its really a beautiful thing to know especially now in this hard time. 

Well on my first night as a qoute on qoute "FREED" man we went to mamajuana cafe. I have been their a couple of times before in the past. Really nice spot in high and mighty uptown scene [ Latin ] they hooka serve slammin sangria and over priced food. AKA it could seem kinda booji. Not because of the caliber it holds but a lot of pretentious people go their. Well this night Anais Martinez performed ima put some vids up later in th week. Wow the first time i herd her sing live was in my friends living room shes really close friends w my group. Well she sang live on a mic she did Rihannas Russian Roulette and put the poor barbados bitch to shame. Because come on we all know Rihanna is a robot she dont sound good live. I still live for you miss thing keep doing your thing. Anyways Anais went on to do some old school spanish ballads and some vouging competion. Lol pretty crazy thing all the mean while my friends popped henny bottles and minguled w| uptowns elite. To say that i had an amazing time would be a lie. I was heart broken and this is also just a regular tuesday night. Its our or thiers family game night. Hahahah but lets watch out for more on this people. 

Oh and soon ones things get more situated in my life i will be posting ones a week, YouTube videos thats i randomly record about the most random things in life. 

Shop w| "People Like Me"

-stumbles over my profiles music and takes eye boogers out.


Mornin' people. So I woke up this morning to my dumb iPhone telling me to check my FB inbox aahhhh. And I seen that i had a new message from an old high school class mate Gandhi R. he was pitching his new clothing like "People like me!" so of course because it involved clothes i had to check it out. Now go on and you do the same [ http://www.peoplelikemestore.com/ ] i bet you would likes.


I fell for it, i love the website's visual concept of this new up and coming clothing line [ P.S. So did my sister BriAmore<3 ] "Keep you hands to yourself" in a womans Large she would love yah for ever ::hint hint::. But yes I did really enjoy the new twist to the typical Tee that everyone usually sells. I have to say i hope they have a patent for this new line because they don't need some over marked company coming in and stealing their nitch. I will be purchasing for myself the "mama's boy" TEE just because i love my mama & love to show support ;]

A Philadelphia Trip.

One of my three kids is performing tonight at a club in Philly called Sin City!

Well I was on my way but i did went and came back LOL. I didn't have anytime to finish my post yesterday so I guess today is better then never, right?! It went well we had a good time it was just four of us. Nashalee, Yoly, J.Anthony and me hahaha and we also got lost thanks to good old mapquest.com directions. Thank God my iPhone has GPS if not we would probably be in Delaware right now in the middle of a "U-TURN" situation. So yeah my baby girl performed and she4 did a great job. I am really proud to know that she has improved so much and is figuring out her nitch as a drag performer.

In the gay scene we tend to have gay family its at times a substitute for people that aren't really accepted with in their own biological family or just close friends that consider their friends either father or sister figures. Its more common in the drag community because it use ally means that those are the people that you go for help either w| make up a ride dresses our just emotional support.

I think now in days the whole point of a gay [ DRAG ] family has become shyt to be quite honest. If you see some of the families that are out their now its almost a joke teaching that stealing protestation and even bullying is a way to run your life. Not only also to lie about who you are really, they forget that Drag is the impersonation of a women, it does not mean to lie about your life. I guess this is a trait that very common with a lot of human gay or not. Everyone wants to be wanted and maybe even admired to some extent. Its just sad that the younger generation comes to the older to be taught just negative things or vice versa because i have seen that also. I can't say that my family [ The Daniels ] are angels but i try to teach my kids or "relatives" to be the best they can be with out putting someone down. Hey i know their some people that just deserve to be put down [ ::cough:: Natalie C. ::cough:: ] sorry i don't like fake people. But I feel that the constant shade just brings a bad name to out people.

It is the thing i hear the most from the straight community that gay men especially drag queens are very catty.

It's been a while. . .

Hey guys,
when I first started this blog it was suppose be so much and just like so many things in my life I didn't take it no where. Kinda sucks because even though I haven't done much with my life since I have had a lot of emotions pass through me. Things are well a lot different with myself since i first started this. I since have moved into my boyfriends house and am living with his family i got myself fired from my last job and haven't really spent anytime with my family and friends. "AKA" I let myself go, but hey i have lost weight lol. Oh and also I have started to do drag more heavily since also. Check it out [ myspace.com/briamore ] she also has her own twitter [ twitter.com/briamore ]. It is kinda crazy when you think about it how i speak of her in third person because she is me. I don't know I do it at times to kinda make sure I play the role well and also protect myself. Its almost the only time I can escape from this world i have created other then music or books. I guess its also pretty cool because when I do get to escape I'm surrounded by people and I'm not in my own little world with no one to appreciate it with. Its not like I cant share the escape of the books and music its just I don't allow myself to its the only time I could really be me or whatever me I want to be. I have to say since stepping into this whole new scene I don't really think of becoming a girl its fun and all to dress up but 24/7 nah uh the criticism and also the uncomfortableness I'm good. Well I'm leaving now I started a new project for myself. . .IMA WRITE A BOOK.

HIM;

In reality it is crazy to think that we are 21 and we embarked on a journey that we will try and stay commited till' "death" that's a lot of years. He sleeps next to me though and I feel it's possible. But when he is awake and in a mood it seems so impossible. I have been  in a couple of different relationships before him, but I got to say this is different. Not only emotions but also the situation. Never have I been in love until him I thought I have but he has ereased all past men off my brain he blows them out the water. We go through bumbs on the road and they go away as quick as they come. It's wierd for it to happen like that. I never been in such situations. Don't get me wrong we have our tough times do we ever. They just fade away like to me atleast it seems like the bad really doesn't matter because their is so much good. To get out of bed ten get back in and have him wrap himself around me right now is so beautiful. It is something that I have searched for and feel so many search for that one human that completes you like a perfect puzzle. I guess that's why when I fantasy about other men in the end I don't get the spark I get from him.

We recently came to an agreement and said when one finds another man very attractive we will approche them and have some fun the three toghter. And to be fine w the whole situation I think it's crazy. Just bacuse I think it's an issue that a lot of couples don't speak of and then theirs a wedge. In the end we are humans we have needs and sometimes certain people meet certain needs/fantasy. Theirs nothing really wrong w that. I think amarica made us think that it's just one and one when we as ANIMAL are not build for one and one we are more one and 6,037 LOL well that's a little outrages but you get the point. Im not that big on the whole open relationship nither is my man so we came to a compimise. Were we both are happy and feel comfterble. I think it's pretty hot. You never really sat back and said how hot will be to see my man get fucked? I guess it depends on how secure you are. Which brings me to part two of this but wait until tomorrow ;]

Till' death.

Back at it again. . .
So after my week vacation I'm back at work. Back in action I guess you could say. Things haven't been the same because of our recent lost. A sad but true story has brought realization to my life. My eyes are more open to different decision making and views in life. I drag my life on by pity and remorse of past events in my life. If i was given my second chance why not take full advantage. Why don't many of us take the full advantage? This past Friday was viva glam Friday just like it is ever week. This week was different we are trying to promote the colors and the cause much more now. So I got dressed in drag and impersonated Lisa Marie Prestly, who is one of the many spokes person for the color. Bri did a great job [ My drag alter ego; www.myspace.com/itsjustaria ]. Me and two other fellow employees paraded around the three counter's in Macy's Herald Square promoting happiness, awareness and most importantly LIFE. That night I went out to have drinks w| a long lost friend and ended up getting wasted. Later i met my boyfriend at his job just to only make a full of myself. Drunk and not in the right of state of mind i looked for coke and for a fight w| someone i love. Thank my angel up above i didn't find the drug and later the fight faded. The day after I come to realize that my life needs to be changed my decisions have to be different if not i will only live the life of those i speak of. From here on out i will try to be more open minded and vocal, less pessimistic and vulgar.




In another note. . .
Today is Stephanies wake. God i wish i had such strength to show my face. As my eyes glaze over and send prayers out to her family and her, I make a decision that i can not show. Only she and God will know why. Other may not understand but to each is on.

Future Outcomes!

Since a few people have hit me up saying they been interested on hearing more, here I am. I know my last update was months ago but I will be trying on keeping this current. Since the last update things have changed so much in my life. It has been such a change that even my morals may have been affected. I don't clearly know if it was for the good or worse but they have shifted. I do have tons to write about but not thinking is the best to blurb it all out ill keep you guys asking for more. Well since December I have gotten a secound job, found a boyfriend, and created a full blown alter ego. I also have received lots of news the has impacted my life. It changed my way as I know it and nothing will ever be the same.

Shadyness, expensive food, tanning, iPhone, drag clothes, make up, hair cuts these are somethings that have such importance in my life that just shouldn't be as important. In the past week I lost a co-worker. She passed away while on a trip to the Dominican Republic. Only 20 years Stephanie C. passed away. She was full of life a loyal employee and a some one cool to chill with. I didn't much of her nor did I try to get to know her. This showed me that you need to cherish life and try to cultivate friendship sooner then later. This girl had so much going for and it was just taken away. We as humans get so many second third forth chances and do nothing w| it. Making promises and trying to make changes that never take affect. Letting the little things in life to affect you so hard and miss out on such good chances. Why do we do this? Letting yourself become homeless, bankrupt or worse die. Life is all about choices that change the outcome of your life. Me and my boyfriend were walking to go to work at the night club. While walking their a child across the street was playing baseball w| an older man. The ball went to the street and soon after he ran for it totally ignoring his surroundings and forgetting about the car's. Not knowing it could have been the last time he would have been having fun. James Anthony [ The Boyfriend ] later tells me a story about a little girl about 4 years old was playing w| the fire hydrant in the city and the force pulled her out to the middle of the street. Soon after a garbage truck ran her over. This happen when he was about 8 years old, she was so young and passed away so early because a careless mistake. And events likes this always happen around the world decisions that humans make later affect their outcome of life. Going to bed w| the wrong person. Making the wrong business decision or even going down the wrong street.


R.I.P STEPHANY C.